THE DISTANCE IS SO LONG
9:15 pm, 1/26/20
The distance is so long.
Too far to sing,
Too wide to jump.
The distance is so long.
“Maybe it’s only a mirage,”
[He said]
“But don’t you see?
McGee?”
[She cried]
“That’s all I ever want.”
I dreamt he fed me matzah balls
On my mother’s front porch in
June.
I don’t know what a matzah ball is
But I’ll take
His
Any day.
I dreamt he bought us a bus
And asked me to install the
Horn.
Instead, I painted it
Purple.
Surprise!
Together, we were
Reborn.
I dreamt he carefully took my eyeballs
Out of my face
Into his palms
And stuck them inside his own head
So he could see all I had seen
All the mountain junkies and
Scrambled eggs
And even himself
From the inside out.
That juicy rear-view mirror stuff
That only comes from
The other.
I mean think about it.
You’ve never actually seen
Your own face.
Somehow
That
Is justice.
I waited on the couch
Blind as a bat,
Fit as a fiddle,
Holes in my face,
Smiling so big it hurt.
“I’ll never have to say another word,”
I thought.
He’ll just….
Know.
I wish I could have watched him
Trying on my eyes.
I wish I could have seen my
Life flash before
My own eyes
(I guess they were still mine?)
But it’s really a
Private matter
A solo gig
So I just sat there
On the couch
Blind as a bat,
Fit as a fiddle,
Holes in my face.
They say your listening gets better when you lose your sight
And I gotta say
On account a’ it happenin’ to me
The rumors are true.
Cold air through the glass.
He sighs,
I blink.
Bumblebee landing on a
Backyard daffodil.
He laughs.
I beam.
Daddy laughing at an old
Crow.
Ancient high fives.
Sing me to sleep.
I hear it.
I hear the call.
I hear it all.
So loud
So incredibly loud
The sound of him seeing me
The volume of the sweet sweet
Sugar in my toes
Or was it sand
Whatever it was
It was exfoliating my dead skin
Fear away
And finally, finally after all these years,
I cry out!
“Baby, baby what do you think of it all?”
……………
“Baby, baby what do you make of it all?”
……………
Baby? Baby? Baby?
And that’s when I heard it all at once.
He was gone.
Stolen my eyes and all.
Burglar with a booby trap.
He was gone.
So I just sat there.
On the couch,
Blind as a bat,
Fit as a fiddle,
Holes in my face.
Waiting for my turn to see again.
Waiting for someone to play along.
But oh, my baby baby.
The distance is so long.